Cold weather
How mesmerizing right?
SILENT TEARS
It's not actually silent. No matter how hard you show yourself out there, no matter how many times you look up at the sky for sake of taking tears back up. It never gets easy. Yet it's mesmerizing ..how we still holdup everything and still move on with life. Without even realizing how far we've covered.
It's snowing today. But i'm not cold. I wonder why. Maybe because I'm sick? Or is it because everything in me turned into cold itself. I wonder why....
Yesterday I lost him again. My ex. He was all I could think of. Everytime he was free we had a chat we text we call we sleep but.... what happened the other day? And the another following day?.. Was everything over. No it wasn't. Nothing much just cheating. Chat, talk, text, sleep but with another. Yet I was his all time muse. Just to keep bugs away.. Last night I was sad and just for not diverting my thoughts towards bruises and injuring I choose to have a talk with him. As we enjoyed griefs more than love. Non stop emails I sent him yet he didn't answer. It made the weather colder. Here I was removing cloths. Suddenly his name ringged on my phone and calmly picked the call. He asked, ‘what's wrong’. I told, ‘Everything! ’. Before I could tell him I'm in so pressure of letting go and checking my mental health. Before I could tell him how much his words gives me warmth to go through each day with least unhappiness. He cut the call. . .
Another email, 'sorry I got her call’ ‘Anyways, take some sleep. And don't let your mom hear you please, otherwise I'm dead’. Seeya..
Well.. Mom? Yeah. Couldn't cry out loud. As it's soothing and much more relaxing. But couldn't. Silent tears were always been the right option. I expected him to say atleast ‘it's okay.. I'm here’ ... Like I was when he wanted to check mate. Unfortunately I lost him again. ------
I wonder what's more cold, The weather or something in myself?!.
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